Play With the Prince
by BluVH8
Summary: Bel is bored. So he wants to play a game. The only thing is no one else does. Watch as Bel ends up feeling more than just bored as he looks for someone to Play With the Prince. AU mentions of wine and general Varia warning
**Disclaimer - I am poor and therefor do not own KHR**

* * *

Bel walked down the hall in varia HQ.

Bored out of his mind.

So he decided to play a game he heard about from his favorite person, Lotus, it had some kind of utensil name.

Whatever. It was played with cards. And he knew the rules so stink whatever the name was.

The first thing he had to do was find players. He would start with that Peasant Puppy Pervert Pedophile.

* * *

"Ushishishi, lightning peasant! Play knives with The Prince!"

*gulp* "Knives? Did you ask boss? If the Boss says so I'll play."

" Kaching! The Prince said play Knives with The Prince so the peasant will play knives with The Prince!"

(shaking) "But knives? What kind of game is knives I...I think... um..."

"Ushishishi."

...(pales)

...(twirls knife)

"IthinkBossiscallingmebyeBel!' (runs screaming)

... huh ...

"The baby will play with The Prince."

The Prince never liked the 4-P Leviapan or whatever anyway.

* * *

Bored out of his mind and offended, Belphegor started hunting.

Mammons room?

Minotaurs (bloodless and therefor boring), guarding multiple safes full of money, a body in the corner, and some really cheap girly candles . But no baby.

The courtyard was to sunny, the bathroom too stupid (Mammy was a baby. she would be wearing diapers.), the birdy's room to terrifying, the shark was too loud, Mammy only went to the King when he had money for her, it was only 10 AM on a Friday so Lotus was still asleep ( _no one_ bothered a sleeping Lotus), and only The Prince's baby cousin was allowed in The Prince's room without permission.

Conclusion?

The baby already knew about the game and was hiding.

Stupid Mammy. See if the Prince let her share strawberry milk with him.

* * *

Bored out of his mind, offended, and slightly (very) disappointed, Bel went looking for somebody else.

Like he said the shark was too loud, he would wake Lotus and then she would kill the shark _and_ The Prince, best friend and gaurdian or not.

So next was the birdy.

Taking a Deep Breath (you could hear the capital letters. and yes. they were necessary.) Bel threw open Lussuria's bedroom door.

And promptly screamed.

Like a little girl.

Lussuria turned from dancing to single ladies, wearing the same outfit Beyonce was in her music video... in the most nauseating shade of material gaiety and happiness imaginable, in time to see Bel faint.

"Bel?"

Belphegor woke in the infirmary.

*sigh*

10:30 AM

* * *

Bored out of his mind, offended, slightly (very) disappointed, and disturbed (traumatized), the King, though The Prince would never say it to his face, was due a visit.

Ten forty-five was close enough to lunch time for him to be drinking so the dining room it was.

"get out scum."

"Ushishishi, The Prince is bored so he thinks Boss should play with The Prince."

"Go bother the Shark trash."

"Lotus' asleep."

(twitches) "Go ask the greedy trash then!"(throws wine glass)

"Mammy is hiding from The Prince."

(fingers {silenced} guns)

"The Prince will be going now."

* * *

Bored out of his mind, offended, slightly (very) disappointed, disturbed (traumatized), and wine stained, it was now late enough, and therefor safe enough, to talk to the shark.

Office?

Paperwork of Doom, Death, Destruction, and Damnation.

The Prince was _not_ going in that room.

Her room (on the forth floor) was empty and it was after eleven now.

Which meant that Lotus would wake up soon, shower and dress, then walk slowly from her room to the kitchen (forgetting about the elevator) with a miasma of overall hatred for all things joyous and depression so big that floors 1-3 would be evacuated 'till noon.

And since sharky never went to the attic that left the basement.

"Ushishishi, OI! SHARKY!"

"VOOIIII! WHAT DO YOU WANT PRINCE BRAT!"

"The Prince commands you to play knives with The Prince!"

"LIKE HELIPADS I WILL! VOOOIIII! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE (starts waving sword around) YA PIECE OF WHALE DROPPINGS?! WHY SHOULD I PLAY WITH DEIFICATION LIKE YOU!?"

"Because I'm The Prince... and The Prince is not bajge balene insecure loud mouth shark peasant woman!"

...(doing fish impersonation)

[pales]

"insecure? ... Insecure loud mouth!? VOOOIIII! **Insecure loud mouth shark peasant woman!?** (waves very big, very sharp, pointy metal sword around) **WHO DO YOU... HOW _DARE_** **YOU CALL ME INSECURE YOU IDIOTA VALORE DI UN IMPOSTORE PRINCIPE!? WHY I OTTA..."**

"...The Prince is hungry."

" **...AND TURN YOU INTO A FLAMING..."**

* * *

Bored out of his mind, offended, slightly (very) disappointed, disturbed (traumatized), wine stained, and half deaf (deaf in his left ear), Bel could finally talk to Lotus without walking through her gloom cloud (12:13 PM the usual lunch time. so long as her back was to the sun she might be in a good mood).

"Lotus(whining), no one will play knives with The Prince!'

"...knives..." -_-

"(pouting now too) You were the one who told The Prince about knives!"

"... hnnnmmm... meh?" -_o

"The game with cards! Knives! You try to get a book before everyone else and grab a knife! The game you learned in America!"

"the world? a card game called knives?" ( -o)

(glare/pout)

"OH! You mean spoons! That's a great idea Belfa! Lets play after lunch." (^_^)

* * *

End Play with The Prince

* * *

So this is an apology for disappearing for 53 days in the hopes that no one kills me. Same AU as Mafia Soulmate Pie (will be updated before tomorrow) and has some spoilers. My 13 year old sister was the inspiration. She wanted to play spoons but no one did the dishes so she grabbed butter knives instead. Nobody wanted to play with her either...

oh and what squalo said was worthless idiot of a prince imposter. Its in italian and i just used google. Bel repeated the insult in Albanian.

BluVH8


End file.
